Happily Ever After

Harry messaged me today apologising for the names he called me and for the way he reacted to everything including…

The True Meaning of Love

Love, like everything else in life, changes constantly, it evolves accordingly. When you truly love someone, it lives on and…

Attachment Theories

I was googling something or other tonight and it led me onto some websites on attachment theories. Reading through, I…

This Is Enough

I know what I’m doing with Harry. I know that ten days ago he triggered some major fears of vulnerability…

Bubble-Wrapped Blows

On Thursday evening, Harry suggested that we didn’t see each other this weekend, instead, he said he would give me…

A Square Peg

I take it back. This, that I have with Harry isn’t a healthy endeavour. It’s no more healthy than what…

A Healthy Endeavour

In my last counselling session, we discussed how I was going to move forward without the ongoing support and with…

I Don’t Believe In Love

I don’t believe in love anymore, at least not the romantic kind. I don’t believe that two people come together…

An Impossible Crossroad

Not even seven weeks in with Harry and the cracks are beginning to show but more importantly, is what my…

Pressured

It shouldn’t really come as any surprise to me that I’m saying this but I miss being single. The last…

Old Patterns

 Seeing Harry tonight, all of my worries from yesterday just disappeared and I realised that my old patterns are returning.…

A Lazy Man?

I think I’ve come across the first thing to bother me about Harry. I’m not expecting a perfect man who…

Disturbed

Harry invited me to his house to watch a film for our fourth date. I agreed even though it would…

The Future’s Bright

Last night I laid in bed and was a bit worried about not having the instant magnetic attraction to Harry that…

A Very Lovely Third Date

I woke with terrible anxiety this morning and totally panicky about having a third date with Harry. I was worried…

A Date & A Kiss

I went on a date with the only man left on the dating site that I was prepared to continue…

What Not To Do

Mark has done exactly what I hoped he wouldn’t do and has started talking about sex and how he can’t…

Testing The Water

I decided to give the dating game another go. I thought that it was all well and good talking to…

Little Change

I’m struggling a little to adjust to our new home. I had illusions that moving house would solve everything but…

Not Giving Up

I saw the counsellor again today. We didn’t do EMDR this week, she didn’t want to so instead, we talked…

The Next Chapter

We moved into our new house today. By this evening, when everything was in and all the beds made up…

The Unconscious Mind

I saw my counsellor, Caroline again today and brought up what she said last week about me having Borderline Personality…

Borderline

Borderline. That’s what she said. I remembered it last night. She thinks I have Borderline Personality Disorder and after extensive…

Personality Disorder

I feel shit. I decided to have a few sessions with a counsellor to support me as I go through…

Cherish

While clearing out and packing the drawers in my bedroom today, I came across the card that Gary gave me…

Avoiding The Storm

It’s been a week since Gary turned up on my doorstep and I’m happy to say I emotionally survived the…

A Victim of my Own Success?

The doorbell rang tonight, I wasn’t expecting anyone so assumed it would be a Jehovah Witness or a salesman. When…

A Time To Flourish

The house is ours. We got confirmation a few days ago that all of the checks came back fine so…

Reasons

Katie and I were talking about my family and she commented on how different they all are to me saying…

Types of Intelligence

I haven’t written here for two months. Taking myself off the dating radar means that I’ve spent loads of quality…

What Love Really Is

I’ve done a lot of thinking over the last couple of days about relationships and men. I thought I only…

A Change of Heart

Liam got in touch today to say that he’d had second thoughts and that sleeping with someone the way we…

A Perfect Arrangement

I met Liam tonight. He said hello, kissed my cheek and we went to the bar for a drink and…

Casual

With Alice’s words about dating ringing in my ears, I decided to test the theory and try and find someone…

A Cut Gem

A few years ago, when Dad moved house, he gave away loads of his stuff to his children. One of…

Easy Come, Easy Go

Alice inadvertently gave me a lesson on being easy-going, relaxing about stuff and just having fun.On Christmas eve, she went…

A More Realistic View

I gave some thought to my compatibility results from yesterday. In reality, so many of the things that I listed…

Compatability

When I was married to Greg, I read a book called Are You The One For Me, that really helped…

High-Value Man

I wrote yesterday about becoming a high-value woman to attract a high-value man so I thought it only right that…

High-Value Woman

I’ve been thinking today about the changes I’m making in my life, changes that should bring about me living a…

Bright Places

I have just finished reading my third book in five days. I’m a pretty quick reader anyway but certainly not…

Creating Space

Today, on the fourth day of creating a valuable life, I found myself looking at my home, my stuff and…

Just One More Day

It’s day three of my social media ban and I don’t think I’ll be going back. I feel so much…

Social Media Free

On the last day of 2016, I made the impulsive decision to go social media free throughout January. I gave…

Everything’s Fucking Rosy

Apart from that… Everything’s fucking rosy. Those were the words to my brother-in-law, Max, today after telling him all about…

A Universal Link

Every now on then, curiosity gets the better of me and I look on Facebook to see what Phil is…

Zero Tolerance

I had a conversation about narcissists with my nephew, James. It led to him saying to me that I attract…

The Real Him

Mo messaged me again last night, this time to send me photos of his visit to the Cornwall. Later he…

The Question of Truth

Mo, the man that I’ve been chatting to for the last few months, at first seemed to be different to…

The Lies I Tell Myself

I read back what I wrote the other day about the moments of love I’ve experienced and I suddenly realised…

Moments of Love

I woke this morning having had a dream about love. A man had his arms around me and kissed my…

Enough Love

When I was a teenager, our family was friends with a couple who had no children. I thought about their…

Twelve Little Words

“The funeral is over, now it’s time he got back to normal.” Twelve words. Twenty months, a string of insults,…

Unconnected

I had a very big moment of weakness and slept with Gary last night and it was probably exactly what…

Without

It’s two months since I ended my relationship with Gary but I haven’t been able to write about him much…

Connections

I’m going through an odd phase in life. I feel tired, angry, frustrated. I feel a lack of connection, not…

Dream Revelations

Last night I found myself suddenly feeling really sad. It enveloped me completely and at 1am, unable to sleep, I…

I Won’t Settle

After weeks of talking most nights over text, Howie and I met up tonight for a walk along the beach…

Sledgehammer of Grief

A sledgehammer of grief hit me today which resulted in me texting Gary to ask him why he kept on…

Conditional Love

I feel so angry today. I’m pretty sure it’s self-inflicted from unhealed crap from years ago coming back up. I…

Gentle Love

Throughout my whole life, apart from when I was with Phil, the only love I’ve really known is one of…

Contact Made

After the debacle with Gary ten days ago, he sent me this text today. “Hi Annie. I hope you’ve checked…

Paying Off

My relationship with Gary might be over but I’m determined not to go back to my old ways. I’m continuing…

Emptiness

I feel so empty. It’s so strange after a break up. Suddenly my phone is silent, the endless drama which…

A Soulmate & A Cheat

Gary told me a few days ago that I am his soul mate! He doesn’t even believe in such things,…

Starting To See Change

It’s week four of my healthy eating and new exercise routine and while the weight is slow in coming off…

A Handy Convenience

Gary texted me earlier to tell me he’d tried to delete his profile from the dating site but that he…

Through The Lens

I spent some time thinking about Gary, about Howie and about me. Gary and I argued relentlessly again about him…

At Loggerheads

When Gary and I discussed a new way our relationship could work, it was agreed that we would talk about…

A Treasure Chest of Growth

I had a small moment of doubt about this thing with Gary earlier. Very small, hardly worth mentioning but some…

Winning The Lottery

Last night I dreamt that I won the lottery. A huge amount. Enough to set us up for life. In…

Directed

Gary and I were talking when out of the blue he said, “You’re to wear hold-ups and no knickers every…