Protector

“You’re nothing but a host for this baby. Once she’s born, I’m taking her away from you, to go and live with my family, and you’ll have nothing more to do with her.” 

The sanctuary that my body created for our precious baby has become an area under threat from the unlikeliest of sources. Her own Dad. My role as protector has increased much more than it should ever have to.

Tonight I came up with a plan. If his intentions are to take her from me and if he sees me as nothing more than the host, then it is my job to ensure I stay hosting her for as long as possible. I can’t keep her in my womb any longer than she wants to be there but I can make her need me in other ways. I always planned on breastfeeding her but now I have a determination to succeed like never before. I’ll breastfeed her for as long as possible, years if necessary. I’m going to sleep her in our bed instead of the crib we’ve prepared. If I can teach her to be dependent on me and only me for food, sleep and comfort then hopefully he will see that taking her from me would make his life extremely difficult.

I know this is not a healthy way to raise a child but right now it feels like the only way. I’m just hoping it will work and I’m praying that he won’t snatch her away from me anyway.

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