The pains from yesterday wore off long enough to bless me with a couple of hours of sleep before I woke at 5am knowing that my little girl was coming today. I packed the other children off with my sister and I waited. I waited in hope and I waited in fear knowing that life would never be the same again, hoping that it would.

I tried to nap. I had a bath. I climbed back into bed and I cuddled into Tom. I desperately wanted us to make love one more time before our lives changed so dramatically, but he wasn’t interested in me ~ an indication of the distance he’s hoping to put between us, maybe?

I cried, I dozed off and then at 10am I woke gripped by a pain that took hold of my body and forced me onto my hands and knees on the bedroom floor as I willed Annie to stay a little longer, feeling her tear her way out anyway, expelled into his greedy hands. In an instant my belly was empty, his arms filled. The battle has begun.

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