As Annie had a feed and fell asleep in my arms, I was looking at her little face thinking about how one day she’ll be an old lady looking down at her grandchildren and it made me quite melancholy. I told Tom what I’d been thinking and he said that we won’t be around to see her grandchildren. I said there was a chance we could as they’d be our great-grandchildren, so definitely not impossible and he said, “I suppose if Annie is a slut like you then it’s possible, and if Annie’s children are also sluts like you, then yes we could see great-grandchildren.”
It’s not the first time he’s called me a slut. I said that no-one should call anyone a slut and if he so much as dares to tell me I’m being oversensitive (which he always does) then I would walk out there and then. I stupidly thought he would apologise. Instead, he told me that I was a psycho for reacting so angrily, that I was a nutter that needs my head seeing to, and then he stormed off to have a shower.
So, it’s all my fault, it would seem. Apparently, he plays no part in this. I’m just an oversensitive nutter. I don’t think I can do this much longer. He said that I need to book into a clinic and get my head sorted. He said I should learn to take a joke and that what he said wasn’t offensive at all as it was meant as a joke. I live with insults from him on a daily basis. I put on a new pair of trousers and he says, “You’re brave” but I’m not permitted to take offence as he’s ‘only joking’ and I ‘should know him better than that.’
My self-esteem is at rock bottom, I’m a completely different person to who I was before we met but apparently that’s because I’m mad and nothing at all to do with him. I do agree with him on one thing; I do need my head seeing to, for putting up with this behaviour and for swallowing his bullshit for so long. I told him that if I had the money I’d go. He screamed, “I’ll give you the fucking money and you can fuck off.“
