Tom has been away for six days now on a skiing holiday with his family. The kids and I weren’t invited as Tom said it would be too expensive for us all to go skiing. It’s funny how it’s not too expensive for him though. I’m exhausted doing everything on my own with all four kids, although it has been nice to not have any arguing or name-calling. Being on my own and discovering a loneliness I didn’t think I’d feel without him around, has made me realise even more that I have to make this work with him. I don’t want to be a single parent again, it’s too hard and too lonely.