I still love Tom more than ever and I still want a relationship with him but I don’t really want to live with him anymore. He’s noisy, I like quiet. We don’t have the same taste in decor, music, TV programs or anything really. While I know it sounds like we have nothing much to have a relationship for, I wouldn’t want to have a relationship with anyone else. I’ve gone over and over the fact that I have three children from previous relationships and we have one together and what it would do to them but I also have to think about what we’re doing to them now, they see us arguing and bickering over the slightest thing and that’s not healthy at all. Also, we are both fiercely independent. I love having my own space, as does he. I like independence but I love sharing my life with the man I love too, but not all the time. And so, we’ve been looking into Living Apart Together.
I realise it could come across as being quite selfish but if it works for all in involved, would it be a problem? I’ve been doing some research and everything I’ve found says that as long as both people agree then it can work brilliantly. No different to if one partner were in the forces, for example, and going away for months at a time. The difference being, this would be our choice and we’d both be 100% committed to each other and the children, we would share the childcare as much as we do now and actually would probably end up having more quality time together as a couple. We’re going to sit down and discuss this in full detail in the next few days and see what pros and cons we come up with and make a decision based on our findings. One thing we both know for certain is we cannot go on as we are, we’re both unhappy and so far away from finding a solution to the problems.