What Will Be, Will Be

I’m moving out sometime in the new year but I’m not rushing it as I want to ensure I stay in this area for the kids’ school. We both agree it’s inevitable so why prolong it? We’ve agreed that for now we’re still a couple but we’ll be living separately, whether we’ll continue as a couple remains to be seen.

Tom admitted that he will never love me as much as he loves Annie which I know is part of the reason why we haven’t worked. I’ve spent the last nineteen months watching him kissing and cuddling her, telling her he loves her a million times a day, doting on her – all the things a Dad should do – but not once since she was born has he done any of those things with me. Why? Because apparently, he doesn’t want to get hurt, Annie won’t hurt him but I might.

So, I will be house hunting in the new year and will see how it goes from there, but I guess all the time he feels he can’t give himself fully or let go of his fears we have no chance of it ever working out positively. Still, I’m going to dig deep with everything I’ve got, to see the good in this and make mine and my kids’ future a really happy one.

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