Despite the fact that Tom and I have decided to give this one last try, Tom has now started making, what he calls jokes, about me and the older kids all moving out. It’s relentless. Every few days there’s another ‘joke’ about us going back to our old house or about my other children going to live with their Dad and me staying here but only to look after Annie. It’s so clear to me that he really doesn’t want or love me or my other children. He used me. He used me because he wanted a child of his own and he knew that I would be a good mum to her. I was never anything more than a pawn in his game. I understand that now.