Begrudging The Lesson

Even though Tom complains every single time I take photographs of Annie saying I will blind her or damage her eyes with the flash, and even though he constantly complains that I’m always photographing something, he told me a few days ago that he’s paid for me to go to college one morning a week and do a photography course. That would be a really lovely gesture had he not been telling me for months and months that I should do a course and me answering him every single time telling him that I don’t want to and that I prefer to teach myself new things. Even when I’ve told him about teaching myself to play the piano and learning the guitar without any help, still he has nagged and nagged about a course saying that nobody learns anything without what he classes as a proper education, or in other words, going to school, college or classes.

This morning, I begrudgingly went to my first lesson and I hated every single second of it. The teacher scoffed at my camera when I took it out of my bag because it’s so old. I learned nothing in the lesson that I hadn’t already learned on my own and I couldn’t wait to leave. I came home and told Tom that I am not going back. He called me an ungrateful bitch, said I would never learn how to do anything properly if I didn’t go and said I’d always be thick. I’m not bloody going back though, no matter what he says. He cannot just decide what’s best for me regardless of what I may think or feel.

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