Passed By

Recently, I’ve been feeling that life has passed me by and it’s really starting to get me down. In the last couple of years, I’ve gone from being someone that lived life to the full with parties, pubs, clubs and singing lessons. I’ve gone from going out dancing, karaoke, camping weekends with my sister, Sasha and my oldest friend, Jack, eating out, taking the kids out often, seeing friends several times a week to virtually nothing. The most exciting thing I do now is to go to the cinema with my Dad once every few months, which I do enjoy but it’s not enough. I didn’t even realise how much it bothered me until the last few days when Josh turned 18. I feel old, even though I’m only 35, and I’m jealous. He’s had a week off work and been out with friends to barbecues, out for his birthday (which I went to as well but I drove so Tom could have a drink), and out for a friend’s 21st last night. I’ve been looking at all the pictures of him on Facebook and I can’t help thinking that I wish it were me (as well as him).

I moved house and areas three years ago when I moved in with Tom and I lost contact with everyone that I used to socialise with and now I’ve lost my confidence as well and don’t know where to start. I would love a night out dancing but I have no-one to go with. All the friends I do have are all either pregnant or have small babies so they don’t want to go out. My relationship with Sasha has changed so much that we barely see each other anymore and she won’t go out unless her partner, Will comes along too and the last time they did that they ended up arguing all night. I’m a party girl at heart and it’s been stifled for too long and that just makes me sad.

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