I left the older girls’ dad, Greg, for many reasons but one of them being that he was so money orientated. When we divorced six years ago, I agreed to him paying me £50 per week for the two girls, even though I knew this was £10 less than the CSA would have made him pay at that time. In the last six years, I haven’t asked him for a penny more for anything.
The last few years have been a struggle at times; the girls are getting older, their needs greater and £50 doesn’t cover much at all so I emailed him today outlining all the kids’ outgoings; shoes, clothes, haircuts, school trips, school uniform, books they need, money for things in school which may all be small but over the years they really add up. Plus when you take into consideration birthday outings (only ever cinema with a couple of friends) cost of entertaining them during school holidays, swimming lessons, which I consider vital and all the other little bits, it soon mounts up.
He just phoned me, and tried every single trick in the book why he shouldn’t be paying more:
- Alice shouldn’t have a mobile as she’s only 12 and yes he is prepared to let her do the 55-minute walk home alone with no way of contacting me.
- I should have sent her to a different school where the uniform is cheaper even though the only other school has a bad reputation and the kids are known for being really challenging.
- They don’t need taking out at all during the school holidays.
- I should have refused to send Alice in the correct uniform and saved myself money.
- He has bills to pay
- They don’t have to go on school trips, that would save money.
The list was endless. However, all of that is nothing compared to this that he said next . . . “I don’t see why I should pay more when I only have them every other weekend.”
I replied that was his choice and actually had he wanted to see them more I would have been more than willing, as I said when we split up and that it wouldn’t hurt him to have them for a week or so during the holidays.
His reply was he can’t get the time off work even though he has a two-week foreign holiday every year and then he said, “What you don’t seem to get is that I want my time to myself and I don’t want to have to use my holidays up having them.”
I said his attitude to parenting was disgusting, his reply “Whatever”
So no more Mr nice guy for me. I’m stopping all this pussyfooting around and I’m calling the CSA first thing tomorrow and they can deal with him.
So pathetic is his argument that he asked me for the school phone number and Alice’s head of year to complain about it. I hope he does, they’ll laugh him off the phone.
I don’t get why, when between him and his new wife, they earn around 60K per year, he doesn’t want the best for his daughters. He actually said “What’s the point of sending them to a good school when most kids leave school and end up dossing around anyway.” Good to see he has such high hopes for his daughters.
Alice is starting to realise what he’s really like. It was her birthday on Sunday, she was at his from the Friday, but woke Sunday morning to just a card, told to get ready where he then took her shopping for half an hour, spent another 90 minutes looking around the shops at stuff for him and his wife, Lou, then went home and left Alice and Katie downstairs for the rest of the day while they went upstairs to decorate. He promised Alice he’d bring her home much earlier than usual so she could have half the day with me, then didn’t bring them back till 5.15pm so we hardly saw each other her on her birthday.
What the fuck is it with the men in my life?