I’ve always believed that what we dream about at night can be a guide for our waking lives and last night’s dream was no exception.
I dreamt that Tom and I had an argument, I felt really angry and frustrated with him, I was mad. I got two knives out of the kitchen drawer and went into the dining room with them but then I no longer felt angry. I went into the kitchen to find Tom stood with his back to me by one of the sides. I went behind him and jokingly ran the big knife along the top of his shoulder muscle. It split right open and he started to bleed badly. I looked at the wound, it was massive and I realised that it was life-threatening. Tom was angry, I was angry but I said sorry, that I didn’t mean to harm him and he knew that I didn’t. I told him I would call an ambulance but he didn’t want me to. I knew that whatever the consequences for me, I must phone for help or he could die. Tom went out into the garden so I phoned and asked for an ambulance, in a surprisingly calm manner. I was passed through to someone who asked a really irrelevant questionnaire and I couldn’t believe that I couldn’t bypass that and speak to someone urgently about what happened. I went into the study where I found that Tom had died. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and that I finally got what I needed. I felt at peace and relaxed. There were no negative consequences to my actions.
I think the dream is really telling me that it’s absolutely the right decision for me to start making plans to leave Tom. What we had in the beginning and what I always hoped to rekindle has died, or rather, been killed off and can’t be saved. I can see also that the dream is showing me about blame and responsibility but also that there will be no negative consequences to me leaving. It will only be a positive thing.