
My psychotherapist, James, says that I dismiss myself. Maybe I do but when did it start? I know that Tom dismisses me often. I’ve just told him how lonely and isolated it is being a mum, he gave me ‘the look’ and dismissed it completely. He does this a lot. He’s done this for so long that I almost believe it’s okay and that’s maybe why I do it to myself. Did I do it when I was married to Greg? I doubt it.
To Tom, I might say, “I’m tired.” Tom will reply, “You always say that. You’re fine.”
“I don’t feel well” ~ “Of course you do, you’re fine”
“I’m too tired for choir” ~ “You’re fine, just go”
“I feel really down.” ~ “You’re fine, if anyone’s depressed it’s me.”
Who else does this to me? My Dad did. Whenever I was scared or in pain.