Silence’s alarm clock woke me constantly throughout the night to remind me of the past. The past that, just yesterday, was my present. The past that I now know isn’t going to go away just because I’ve fled its shackles.
“YOU’RE A THICK CUNT”
“YOU? You’re going to lay a wooden floor? That’s like me climbing into a plane and thinking I can fly it. You’re too stupid.”
“The only reason I had sex with you tonight is because I saw a couple of really sexy, beautiful women tonight. When I fucked you, I was thinking about them.”
“Josh is a fucking bastard and I hate him. I wish you’d never had him. I wish he’d go and live with his Dad.”
“When the girls are older they’re going to hate you and they’re only going to want to spend time with me.”
“I came to bed to get away from you. Now go back downstairs and stay there.”
The stars in the night sky sealed my heart as much as they sealed my fate. Soaking the pillow with angry, painful tears, I vowed to never allow love in again. The promise to remain on my own and get used to the vicious tongued stillness prevailed over the risk of ever having to go through the pain of another love as cruel as his.