I had five of my friends come over tonight to celebrate my new beginning with me. It’s the first time that I’ve had friends to my home in four years because I never felt as though I could with Tom. We celebrated with food, drinks, karaoke and dancing and it was such a lovely evening. Jeanie, my closest friend in the group, told me how proud she was of me for leaving and it was just what I needed to receive – the support and love of my friends.
The only downside to the evening though, was an overwhelming feeling of being self conscious and awkward. I felt as though my friends would judge me, my new home, my lack of furniture and I didn’t feel at all confident to join in with the karaoke. Instead, I left it to the others to sing and have fun while I mostly sat quietly in the corner. I’m starting to realise that healing from Tom’s abuse isn’t going to be an overnight thing as I had hoped.