Powerless

I don’t miss him. I had a blip.

Today he came over, he ate lunch in my house, he sat on my sofa and watched my TV.

He wanted to know how much rent Josh was paying me. He wasn’t happy with the amount. He told me to tell Josh he has to pay more. I told him it was none of his business. He shouted at me, he swore at me, he accused me of so many spiteful things. I told him to leave. He got up, he went to walk out. But then he came back, he sat back down and he said, ‘I’m not going anywhere. If you want me out you can phone the police.‘ I felt powerless once again.

I left him downstairs with Annie while I found a hiding place in my own home away from him and I made a long list of all the reasons why I mustn’t ever fall back into the trap of believing that I want to be with him again.

Hours later, I came downstairs to find him lying on my sofa under one of my blankets. I should have rung the police. This was supposed to be a door to a new life, how dare he intrude. Next time I will call the police. I won’t miss him again.

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