Most probably it’s the two glasses of wine I’ve had, combined with our new kitten moving in but tonight I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I spent the day with Tom. He came over mid-morning, fixed the trampoline for the children to use, stayed to play with Annie, joined us for lunch and came with me to collect the kitten. I enjoyed his company so much today, he was easygoing and fun to be around. He was kind and helpful and any jokey comments he made were like water off a duck’s back.
As I poured the first glass tonight, I thought about how lovely it would be to share a bottle with him over a nice meal at a lovely restaurant, to just enjoy each other again. Is this dangerous ground? Probably, but tonight I need to keep this warm glow burning. Last night was a rough night, ending in me crying myself to sleep, missing him like crazy. I don’t need another night like that anytime soon. Living a fantasy relationship with the man I fell in love with, not the man he turned out to be, is a safer place for me to be right now.