The Children Suffer Too

For the last year of living with Tom, Katie would come home from school, go straight to her bedroom and stay there until the next morning apart from coming down for meals and sometimes coming down when Tom was at the pub. She’d stopped being affectionate with me, wore black all of the time and just looked so sad every single day.

Today, she came downstairs dressed in lovely bright colours, she walked up to me and gave me a hug then sat with me on the sofa and cuddled into me which is where she stayed for the rest of the afternoon watching films and chatting. At one point, she said to me, “Mum, when we lived with Tom and after we’d gone to bed at night, we used to hear him screaming and yelling at you. Alice used to get out of her bed, climb into mine and put her hands over my ears to try and stop me from hearing it.

I never knew this. I thought they weren’t too aware of what went on between Tom and I but I was wrong. Hearing Katie’s words was utterly heartbreaking. Knowing that my children were suffering so much yet hiding it from me is devastating. I’ve hurt them so much with my inability to leave him for so long and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to all of them for the damage that’s been caused from both Tom and me.

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