Tom asked to have Annie round at his for a few hours this afternoon. I didn’t want her to go. Tom insisted. I suggested he come to mine but he said he wanted her there. I took her and I tried to stay but he wanted me to go. Annie said she wanted to play at her Daddy’s so I left.
I was a complete nervous wreck. I text him with any excuse I could think of throughout the afternoon to make sure they were both still alive. I sat at home crying, feeling sick and biting my nails down to nothing. When it came time to pick her up, I knocked on the door and got no answer. The thoughts running through my head were indescribable.
I let myself in with the key I still have, praying that I would find Annie safe. I couldn’t find them anywhere. I ran upstairs, the loft was open. I stood rooted to the spot, too scared to move as time stood still. And then I heard Annie downstairs, running in from the garage. My baby was okay.
I brought her home and I’ve barely let go of her since. I’m moving her to my bed tonight. I can’t bear to be parted from her, I feel as though the only way I can keep her safe is to cling to her every second of every day. This is no longer a fight to save Tom’s life and Annie’s future happiness, this is now a fight to possibly save Annie’s life, and my life alongside hers. I feel like I’m going crazy.