While carrying Annie’s toys up the stairs today, I tripped. I managed to regain my balance and then I tripped again, landing flat on my face, nose first into the carpet. I laid face down on the stairs, toys bouncing back down to the bottom and I laughed. I laughed until the pain in my sides hurt more than the ache in my heart.
Life kicked me when I was on the way up and it even threw in another swift boot for good measure, but today after I fell, I had a realisation.
This is life.
Sometimes I’ll trip, sometimes I’ll stumble, sometimes I’ll fall.
Sometimes it is really bloody shitty, it just is. I can’t go through life the way I have been, I have to learn from my fall. At times I’ll get hurt doing so but eventually, I have to learn to laugh again. So for today at least, I’ve won the battle.
The one thing I’m not going to do anymore is to give in to my fears about Tom and Annie. He’s not going to do that, I’m not going to let him do that, not now, not ever. I am not going to allow him to control me in that way, not anymore.