I took the kids to a theme park today. Tom joined us. I didn’t want him to and the older kids didn’t want him to come either. They said he makes everything about him and what he wants rather than allowing them to do what they want, which is true, but I always feel as though I have to invite him to everything we do and if I don’t, he invites himself and then causes an argument if I try to stop him coming. Mostly though, I just ask him because if I don’t and then he finds out afterwards, he becomes verbally abusive with me.

I wish I could stand up to him and just tell him to go and get on with his own life and let me get on with mine but I can’t. I’m too scared of his reaction. The kids were right though, he did make it all about him and because he was there, I felt uneasy and uptight all day and didn’t join in with anything. He then kept calling me boring and dull and going off with the kids, being the great amazing fun dad, leaving me to be the dull mum just stood holding the bags.

I hate this. I need the parental support he offers me but it leaves me feeling so weak and powerless.

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