Tom has been being really helpful lately and I can’t help thinking that it’s because he’s trying to worm his way in more and push Phil out. Today he turned up with his jet-washer to clean the trampoline. I told him that I was going to do that but he insisted and then spent the next couple of hours cleaning it thoroughly and ensuring it was spotless for the kids to play on.

I can’t appreciate this as much as I should because yet again, it feels as though he’s taking away all of my choices and pushing his way in to try and get what he wants – I think he wants me to believe that I can’t manage without him and that I don’t need Phil and so if he makes himself available to do everything, then I will change my mind about Phil but also about Tom and me. I’m not going to do that. What I have with Phil might not be exactly what I want it to be but it’s still a million times better than what I went through with Tom.

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