In a few weeks time, Annie’s going to be going away with Tom which coincides with Alice and Katie going on holiday with their Dad. Josh has decided to go and stay with his cousins for a few days so today I decided to book myself a few days away. I found the perfect place – a cosy little boat house right on the edge of a cove, where I could watch the tide ebbing and flowing, hear the waves crashing on the rocks, the seagulls overhead. A place I can be alone and be snuggled up on a plump sofa, wrapped in a thick blanket with a book in one hand and a glass of Baileys in the other and nothing to do but read, drink, eat, sleep, and relax for three whole days.
When I told Phil that I wouldn’t be able to see him that weekend, he wanted to know why I hadn’t asked him to come with me and even though I tried to explain that I really need some time for myself, he made such an emotional scene that I ended up caving in and saying that he could come too. I wish I were stronger, to be able to actually honour my needs as I said I was going to do rather than giving in to someone else’s needs and demands because I feel so guilt if I don’t.