I went out last night with Sasha. We got horrendously drunk and had the best night! It did me so much good. Although I’m suffering slightly today, mainly with tiredness, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I don’t have fun like that with anyone else, the way I do with Sasha. I love our nights out together, although they haven’t happened for such a long time. This morning, I am feeling something that I haven’t felt in so long. Martin, a 26-year-old man, kissed me and told me I was gorgeous and it has done so much for my self-esteem.
For such a long time I’ve seen myself as fat, ugly, old and unworthy of attracting anyone remotely good looking but Martin was really good looking as well as young. I’m not stupid, I know he was drunk, but even when people are drunk they generally don’t go kissing someone they’re not slightly attracted to. The whole time he was telling me I didn’t look 39, that he thought I was gorgeous and he couldn’t keep his hands off me and quite frankly, I don’t care if it was the drink talking, it made me feel good.
I feel better about myself today than I have in a long time and I’ve realised that when it’s the right time for me to be looking for a man, I don’t need to settle for someone that’s I’m not physically attracted to, I’ve been doing that for far too long.