Over the last few weeks, something has been building that feels so right. It feels exciting. When I left Tom, I started writing ‘Finding My Truth’ and my thoughts recently are really the culmination of three years of questioning everything I’m told about myself, questioning my thoughts, finding myself, finding my truth and now of starting to really become my truth.
Events over the last few days have powered these thoughts further. My friend, Pippa, confided in me that there is a man who is in love with her and that she has similar feelings for. Pippa has made the decision to not act on these feelings at all and to stay in a marriage that has lost all spark. I can’t help wondering if she should totally embrace the feelings she’s having and completely act on them and if that means having an affair with this man, then so be it because I’ve come to believe that it’s vital, the very essence of our soul’s growth, to go with wherever the pull takes us, no matter the consequences. Following the compulsive urges that we so often feel will do one of two things. Bring you to a new place of being, a better place; a place you’re now meant to be in or it will bring you back to where you are now but with vast growth along the way so you can turn what you had back around into something more alive, more satisfying to the soul.
I know that may sound foolhardy but why do we get these strong, compulsive urges if we’re not meant to do something about them? An affair doesn’t mean the end of her marriage. It may do, in which case it would probably have come to an end anyway (or carried on forever lacking any kind of life) or it will reignite the passion that her marriage currently lacks.
This isn’t just about relationships and affairs, not at all. This is about everything in life. The deep guttural need to have a baby, the pull towards a new career, a better education, a house move, anything. If it’s felt deep within, if you can’t stop thinking about it, that is your intuition telling you that you must act on it and so from now on, I’m going to listen, I’m going to hear and I’m going to act accordingly to whatever my intuition tells me to do.
I know that what will most likely happen is for my world and the world of those around me, will get shaken up. Sometimes that will instantly be for the better and sometimes it may appear to be for the worst but ultimately, it will bring about change which is for the better for all. I’m going into this with my eyes open. I know it may not always be easy but I trust that whatever I feel absolutely compelled to do, is the right thing to do for my personal growth.