I spent the day organising a load of clutter to put on eBay. I’m hoping to start building up enough funds to pay for some new furniture for the lounge and kitchen. Doing so made me realise this is not something I want to share with Phil. I don’t want him having an input into how my home is decorated or furnished because it’s my home, not his and not ours. I don’t want to share it with him and I don’t want to share it with anyone. I’ve never had a house that was all mine to do with as I want and I need that, even if just once in my life. Really it’s not about the decorating. It’s about not wanting Phil here. I don’t want to marry him. I don’t want to live with him and I don’t want a relationship with him. Again. Even I am bored with this absolute crap of coming and going now.