It’s Halloween, the scariest day of the year! To mark the occasion I started the day off facing some of my worst fears. I felt panicky, out of control and like I wanted to hide, all because of Phil. All because I feel that if I live with him, or worse still, marry him, I will come to deeply regret it. I stood in the shower thinking about life with him here all the time. It would be unbearable and suffocating. He is by my side every second we’re together, he doesn’t seem to be able to do anything without me. On Saturday night I went to bed and to sleep before him, the next morning we woke and the first thing he said was, ‘I missed you.’ All because I’d gone to sleep without him. He’s so clingy and that’s so unattractive to me. I feel as though I’ve got someone else in my life that’s got issues, just this time they’re slightly different. I seem to attract nothing but men with issues and I can’t express enough how much I want to remain single and just enjoy my life with the kids and the house and my friends and not have a man coming in on any of that. My next child-free weekend he will expect me to go to his to spend the weekend together and I’m not going. I want a Saturday night to myself without his clingy bullshit and telling me he loves me every two fucking minutes.