Yesterday continued to be a complete washout. After writing, I fell asleep for an hour then went off to get Annie and drop her to Tom’s and then I spent the evening at home feeling grumpy and unable to occupy myself. I flitted around between tv channels and crap on the internet before giving up and going to bed at about 10.30pm.
This morning I woke at 8.15am full of rage and I don’t even know why. I have a headache, am so tired and just feel angry and annoyed about everything, but I read back that poem ‘Half of Everything’ and realised that I am experiencing life. Shit days happen, bad moods happen, sometimes they happen for no apparent reason. That is life and instead of fighting it, I’ve just got to go with it and feel it. Experience it as a part of life and I need to accept it for what it is because the more I try and fight it, the worse it’s going to be so this is me today. Bad mood, feeling shit, restless, bored, angry. It’s life and I love it.