I went into Karen’s this morning for a quick catch up. It was our normal chatting about nothing in particular until she said something that really piqued my interest. She said I am really unconventional and that I probably always have been but that she thinks I will become more so the older I get. She says she really sees me changing lately, that I no longer seem to care about the things that bothered me before and she thought it was great.

I think it completely ties in with a dream I had recently about the old me dying and a new me being born. I explained to Karen how I seem to be easily letting go of people and situations in my life that no longer serve me on a higher level and that the only one I struggle to let go of is Tom but as my dream seemed to indicate, maybe it’s out of fear of being alone or not coping and then last night I dreamt of spiders and for the first time ever, I wasn’t scared. Have I made some kind of internal change that my fear of something is now lessened?

I don’t know but I do know, because I feel it so strongly, so intuitively, that something big is going on inside of me. Maybe it is nothing more than the physical and the spiritual peri-menopause that’s starting, maybe all women go through this, I just know that in a year I am not going to be then, who I am now.

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