Last night I dreamt . . . I am stood alone, but aware of people somewhere around me, in the middle of nowhere. All around me is dusty earth and nothing else in sight. I know that it is the end of the world. I think about packing my things but realise I don’t need to as I won’t exist after this and neither will anyone else. I also know that although it’s the end, there is a small glimmer of something new and I sense that although it is the end of the world, there is something after it. Something new. It looks like a ball of light and I sense it to be near or in my right hand.
My dream has been on my mind all morning. I think it’s showing me the absolute final ending that I deeply felt a few days ago with Tom. It’s about me really letting go of Tom once and for all and how that action is going to herald a completely new beginning for me. It will, in fact, be the end of a world, not ‘the’ world, but a world that I have known for such a long time. I’m taking this dream as meaning that a new, better life awaits me and it’s in my hands waiting to happen or waiting for me to make it happen, or maybe just waiting for me to be ready to accept it. I feel sure I’m almost there.
So despite having very little sleep last night because dreams kept waking me, I feel light, carefree and excited for the future today which is a striking contrast of yesterday where I spent most of the day feeling depressed, sad and lonely which, I’m sure, is a natural emotional response to saying goodbye to a decade of my life. I have no idea what my new life is going to entail but I’m really excited to find out.