Passions & Dreams

I started reading a book that includes an online workbook to help find your passion and dreams to aid you in finding the perfect career. I’ve already started training as a life coach which is going well but I still wonder if there’s something else that I could be doing that ignites my passion further. I started reading and filling it out today. It was interesting and thought-provoking. These are my questions and answers so far:

What do you like best about your life right now? List five things:

  1. I like my devotion to personal growth and spirituality.
  2. I like the time I get to myself in the evenings
  3. I like having the freedom to raise my children my way without any influence from their Dads
  4. I like that this is a time to get to know myself
  5. I like that I have my own space, time and company to do whatever I choose to do

What do you like least about your life right now? List five things:

  1. Not having a romantic, intimate relationship with a man that loves and values me and wants to spend time with me.
  2. Having very little spare money to make choices, big and small.
  3. Being lonely and not having help or support with things in life that I need support with, such as kids, housework, DIY, gardening, finances.
  4. Not having a career or even knowing what I really want to do, career-wise. Having no direction at all.
  5. Being really low on energy and motivation almost all of the time.

How would the person who knows you best describe you? (You don’t have to ask them – though you might find out some interesting things if you do and if you ask them to be absolutely honest.)

I pondered who in my life knows me best. I wondered if it was either of my parents but I don’t know if it is, out of either of them I’d say my Mum. Then I thought it was probably Phil but possibly Tom, he has, after all, spent most days with me for a quarter of my life. In the end, I asked both Tom and Phil (who I’m still in touch with as friends) the above question. I’m awaiting their response.

How do you think most people you know would describe you?
I thought my friends would describe me as funny but over the top and sometimes a bit of a bitch but when I asked them they said this:

Sam: I think you are a kind, helpful, loving person. You are a great parent and friend. You are also beautiful inside and out. You will do anything to help anyone. I’m so proud to call you my friend.

Sally: Funny, naughty, so kind, highly intelligent, articulate and beautiful, inside and out…… I can’t think of anything bad.

Debbie: When we first met, I thought you were ignorant…BUT you have turned out to be actually probably one of the nicest ladies I have met. Your children are an example of what sort of person you are. They are all gorgeous and all so lovely in every way.. (kind of jealous really). You are honest and loyal. And you have awesome boobs!

Pippa: You are lovely. You’ve had too much shit to deal with in your life but you’ve come out of it a better more confident, self-assured person. I love your fuck it attitude and I’m trying to learn from you to not get too stressed. You’re a great laugh. You’ve taken me as I am and accepted me, that is so special for me. You’re a kind and caring mum who looks out for her kids and hasn’t given up on them.

Tamara: Before I got to know you I was very intimidated by you but I think that has more to do with my own extreme shyness. I now see you as a very emotionally intelligent woman who has a good set of values. You are not materialistic at all and your calm nature makes your parenting skills enviable.

Karen: Insightful. You always see things that others fail to see. You have thrown light on situations of mine which when I think about, should have been obvious but took you to point them out. You see paths through stuff where all everyone else can see is forest.
Kind. Obvious one there but you genuinely care about people and their feelings and I have seen you help wherever you can, and invest your energy into making others have better lives. Even if you don’t even know them.
Empathetic. You are very understanding and I’ve never seen you judge anyone yet. You always see the good in people and make allowances for things that others might judge on.
Avoiding. I’m not sure about this but I think you might sometimes try and avoid feeling certain ways. Like when Katie was having her op and you were so laid back I thought it was odd (although I am such a panic mechanic perhaps it just seemed odd to me). But anyway I thought you were avoiding facing how traumatic it was going to be and I was worried you were mentally unprepared and going to be shocked. Or maybe you just hid your fear well. This is not a criticism.
Changeable. You change your mind more often than most people change their pants. I’m not sure why. This is also not a criticism, it’s not a bad thing, just something you seem to do.
Awkward. (This is actually a compliment). Sometimes I think you change your opinion on something that people thought they knew about you just to amuse yourself. I think you like to keep people on their toes and not be too samey. I think you like to make sure no one really knows you too well. I actually find this endearing because it reminds me of my mum.
Intelligent. Another obvious one. You are clearly very clever. In many ways and on many levels, but especially to do with people and minds.
Sensitive. You know what’s up and when. You’re very tuned in to other people and their emotions, sometimes before they are.
Cheeky and funny. You are very naturally funny and great company.
Tactful. You always say the right thing, or nothing if that’s the right thing. You never put your foot in it and upset people. Your words only ever do good.
Different. You’re not like most other people. There is a wackiness and a slight edge about you. (You know what I mean, you’re mental!)
Encouraging. You bring out people’s strengths and make them feel they can go further.
Resourceful. You manage to feed your kids and get through each week regardless of how little money you are managing on.
Unmaterialistic. You truly don’t give a shit about money or objects. Probably more than anyone I know. Your values are admirable.
Strong. You have been through so much on so many levels and in so many different ways and come through it all not a dried up, resentful bitch, but a soft, warm, loving deep person. Nothing has eroded your faith in doing right. So all of these observations are from what I’ve seen of you as a friend. Obviously, you are also a mother, an ex-partner, a daughter etc, and I can only comment on my own experience of you. I think you are in some ways a loner, but that is something you actively choose. I noticed you saying often how you don’t have a best friend and you don’t need friends, you don’t need a man and you have no desire to get married again. I think you are making sure you have a distance from people but I’m not sure whether it’s because you have had to be self-sufficient in the past and are more comfortable with that. Maybe you are afraid of appearing needy, maybe you have been hurt too many times to rely on someone emotionally, maybe your childhood experiences taught you that to feel alone and uncared for was normal, or maybe you are just genuinely and simply happy like that and love the freedom. Maybe the love of four wonderful kids is enough to fill your heart.

How would you describe yourself, right now? (e.g.: your occupation, appearance, state of mind/mood, health, etc.)

Lost
In limbo
Mum
Supporter to friends and family
Tatty
Scruffy
Overweight
Tired looking
Bloated
Sad
Lonely
Empty
Tired
Pretty
Insecure

What are you passionate about? (What lights you up? What do you care about or love more than anything else?) List as many things as you’d like to, then put a star next to the one that matters the most to you.

  1. Family history
  2. Photography
  3. Writing
  4. Children
  5. My children *
  6. Equality
  7. Love
  8. People, especially children being treated well
  9. Rain
  10.  My books
  11.  Empowerment through words and actions
  12.  Spirituality
  13. Personal Growth *
  14. Books
  15. Journal Writing
  16. Dreams and interpretation
  17. Family

How are you different from anyone else on this earth? What combination of skills or abilities or personality traits do you have that is totally unique? Describe your uniqueness here:

I can take good photographs.
I have a mischievous sense of humour
I can do family trees
I can write well
I can create books
I can journal and get lost in my thoughts
I am really intuitive
I can drive
I can sing
I  have a very philosophical mind
I see the deeper meaning in everything
I care deeply about children and family
I am, most of the time, a positive thinker
I am spiritual
I trust in life.
I believe in love
I am affectionate and loving
I know how to talk to a child so that they will be prepared to listen
I can talk to people in such a way that they take things on board and make changes in their life to support what they’ve heard
I am funny
I can be very quiet and serious or I can be very lighthearted and childlike.
I am a good listener
I make people feel comfortable enough to be able to talk to me and open up
I have the ability to empower people
I counsel people without meaning to
I’m very supportive
I am highly creative
I am intuitively creative
I am wise
I am calm
I am passionate
I am fiery
I am strong
I am determined
I am supportive
I am helpful
I am loving
I am kind
I am patient
I am a really good, supportive parent
I am mentally and emotionally a really hard worker
I am tough when I need to be, soft when I don’t
I am mischievous
I have strong morals and values
I have a high level of integrity
I am honest

How would you love to be able to describe yourself? (e.g. who would you be, if anything was possible?)

Organised
Hard-working
Successful career
Really good figure
Physically fit
Looks really smart and well turned out
Married to a man that I share an equal love with as well as respect, and a deep emotional connection.

This is only a small part of the workbook, I’ve still to do the rest but from what I’ve done so far everything seems to be pointing me in the direction that I’ve already kind of explored, an area I don’t really have a solid name for. Almost a coach but not quite. At best I can call it a life mentor or intuitive guide, or just a supporter. For all my talk less than a week ago about not rescuing people, I feel as though something is pulling me back that way, not in a rescuing capacity but in a helping and supporting capacity ~ or even better an empowering capacity or a counsellor. I need to do the rest of the workbook to give me more clarification.

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