Me Me Me

I’ve just had a conversation with Karen which was all about a challenging situation she’s going through at the moment. After she’d spoke for about five minutes she suddenly stopped, asked how I was and apologised for being so, “Me, me, me.”  It reminded me of a message I’d received from Michael where he’d taken the time to tell me more about himself and then at the end, he too made a comment about his email being all, me, me, me.

It got me thinking; Why do we all have a problem with being me, me me? Michael was answering in detail, a question I’d asked him, it was interesting and it gave me an opportunity to get to know him a little bit more. I enjoyed what I read and I hadn’t felt as though he were being self-centred in any way.
When Karen was talking about her situation, again I didn’t feel as though she were monopolising the space and I didn’t feel resentful that I hadn’t talked much, I was just really accepting of her need to talk and share what was going on in her life. I think that we live in a society that is scared to devote too much time to ourselves out of fear of being accused of being selfish or even worse, narcissistic, which seems to be the current trend with social media and the internet. Social media encourages us to share our lives publicly but then if we post too much the term narcissist gets thrown in our direction.

A few years ago I used to write another blog. I started writing and taking photos primarily to share with my family so they could keep up to date with what the kids and I were up to. It was a positive aspect of having technology in our lives. My Mum, and Tom’s family, in particular, got a lot of pleasure in reading the kids’ adventures and seeing up to date photos of them on a regular basis. Over time, friends started to read the blog, then when I met Phil he began to read it. Phil shared it with a couple of his friends but one of those friends read through it and decided that I was clearly narcissistic because I never wrote about anything other than mine and the kids’ lives. At that point, I wasn’t strong enough to take her criticism on the chin and so I removed my blog from the internet completely and my family stopped being able to keep up with the kids’ lives. Since then I’ve questioned many times why I did that. Why I allowed one person’s comment to ruin other people’s pleasure and it was out of fear that she was right. What if it was narcissism? What if it was an indicator of me being narcissistic in other areas of my life. Even when Phil reassured me this wasn’t the case, I still refused to allow anyone access ever again.

Now I can see that what I was doing in that blog, and now in this one which is nothing but me, me, me, is centering in the self. I am not being self-centered, I am merely using my own life and my own experiences to further enhance my personal growth. I am sharing it to hopefully help others. I am no longer scared of the “Me, me, me” label because when done for good, genuine reasons, it can hopefully bring about positivity to other people’s lives. I’d go so far now as to say that actually, it’s really good for us to be a little me, me, me at times because ultimately what we’re doing is centering in the self. We’re taking responsibility for our own lives and trying to work through who we are in that moment, to become someone even better in the next.

Karen’s me, me, me chat gave her what she needed. A chance to offload and from doing so, find the answer to a question she had. How can that be seen as anything other than a good thing? The combination of Michael and Karen’s comments really made me see that taking responsibility for your life and being your authentic self needs to come with no apologies, not to others and not to yourself.

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