One day last week, I went round to Tom’s to drop Annie off, as he walked past me he poked my breasts. I snapped at him and told him not to and he said, “I’ll do what I want!” I stupidly didn’t say anything because Annie was there and I didn’t want to have a row in front of her because she gets so upset when we do that but today I realised that what he did in front of her is so damaging.
He has inadvertently taught her that a man can do what he wants to a woman’s body.
He has taught her that a woman’s body isn’t for treating respectfully.
He has taught her that no doesn’t mean no.
What kind of man wants his daughter to learn these kinds of lessons? Just as importantly, why didn’t I have the row there and then? He deserved to be called out for his behaviour and it should have been done in front of Annie so she could see that as a woman it’s okay to stand up for your right to be respected and not treated like a piece of meat.
It’s been playing on my mind all week and I have to have it out with him. I need to give him the advice he’s always given me; that men need to have a very clear message – if you’re not interested they need to be told to fuck off because they will latch on to the slightest glimmer of hope otherwise.
It’s too late to do all of this in front of Annie now, it will confuse her, but it’s not too late to deal with this and tell Tom he’s never to touch me again and to tell him this is his fuck off. It’s been a long time coming but now it needs to happen.