Next week I begin the next year of my life when I celebrate my 41st birthday. The last year has flown by and while on the surface it really doesn’t look as though I have much to show for it, underneath it’s abundant, and so I’m now looking ahead to what I’d like for my next year.
This year has all been about emotions; dealing with, healing and releasing. Next year really needs to be about my body and my health. I haven’t been feeling so great lately, I’m exhausted and I think it’s time to address that and become really healthy for the first time in my life. I want to start soon after my birthday and I want to do a slow but steady increase in health and vitality. I hope by the time I reach my 42nd birthday, I feel and look much better than I do now.
The other thing I really want for my next year is love, a relationship. Next year, I’m going to start looking and dating. I’ve kind of given up with Michael at the moment. He’s really not great at keeping in touch and my theory is, rightly or wrongly, that if he were interested he’d be in touch a lot more than he is. Since our date three weeks ago I’ve heard from him maybe three or four times. There’s been at least two occasions when I’ve texted him and he’s not even responded. I can only assume either he’s not interested in me or he’s not interested in a relationship. To be fair, he wasn’t looking for a relationship, he was possibly pushed into it by Linda rather than genuinely wanting to start dating and so once our dinner date that I’m hosting is done next weekend, where Linda and Colin will be with us too, I’m not going to keep contacting him and I’m certainly not going to be the one asking him out again because I have instigated every date so far. If he contacts me I’ll reply. If he asks me out on any more dates, I’ll definitely go but that’s it. I have to leave the ball in his court because I get the impression his ex wife was the ‘boss’ and decision maker and I know Linda plays the same role and quite frankly, I don’t want to be the one to take charge in a relationship, I want it to be equal but I also want the man to be able to take charge too now and then because it’s a huge turn on when a man can hold his own, be confident and take charge. If he’s not that man, then he’s not the man for me anyway. And so, regardless of whether Michael gets in touch again or not, I’m going to start dating. I’m going to bite the bullet, face my internet dating fears and get myself on some of the dating sites. I know I will have to be patient and weed out the wheat from the chaff but if I want to achieve my love dream this coming year, I’m going to have to do something but it sure as hell isn’t just going to appear at my feet with no effort on my part. I sense another year of challenges but hopefully they’ll be some positive outcomes at the end of it.