My date with Michael was a huge disappointment. He spent the majority of the evening talking about his ex-wife. They’ve been split up for ten years and yet still he either hasn’t stopped loving her or he hasn’t done the work on himself to heal. It sounded to me as if he retreated to his cave when they split up and he’s stayed there ever since.
I also spent the entire evening feeling like a counsellor and not someone he was on a date with. When he wasn’t talking about his ex, he was asking me how he could make change happen in his life. He recited many phrases from self-help books he’d read over the years but when I challenged him, he admitted that he’s never put any of it into practice. The only other thing he talked about was sex and even asked me when the last time was I had any. I know he was hinting at me sleeping with him, as per our saucy texts from a month ago but after tonight, that’s not going to happen. I don’t actually think he’s got any balls to do the job.
What I see is a weak, ineffectual man. A man that, to give him credit, is kind and thoughtful and mature but who is also pretty bloody boring, very scared to make change and hides behind women’s skirts. If it’s not his ex-wife’s skirt then it’s his sister, Linda’s and now I feel as though he’s projecting me into the position of helping me whereas what I like in a man is one strong enough to find his own truth and live his own shit without needing to hide and take advice from anyone. On top of all that, I don’t feel any attraction to him at all. If he’d made an attempt to kiss me, I don’t think I’d have been able to do it, in fact, I spent some of the time thinking that I would get back on a dating site and see who else is out there although really, that’s not something I want to do either.