I’m starting to have alarm bells over Gary and while I know that my thinking can be, and often is, very influenced by Tom’s treatment of me, I also don’t like the way I feel about a few things Gary has said or done over the last couple of days. I already feel as though he’s trying to control me and yesterday morning he gave me a very clear signal, as far as I can see, that he’s not going to treat me right.
We were in bed, having just had sex. Our bodies were very close and he had his hand on my chest. He started talking about how he doesn’t want me to change who I am, he knows I’m a flirt (I’m not) and he moved his hand up onto my neck. He then said a few more things and lifted his hand higher onto my throat before saying something along the lines of, “You can flirt but you are never to kiss another man” and with that he applied pressure to my throat until I pushed him off and told him never to touch me in that way again. He then asked if he had frightened me. He tried to reassure me afterwards but this is a serious red flag to me.
There have been other little things too, and this is after just over a week. He non-stop talks about himself, classic narcissist behaviour and as almost all narcissists end up trying to control, that’s not a good sign.
The speed with which he’s moving is yet another sign. He’s told me he was falling in love with me, on Saturday he gave me a key to his house, he’s already talking about us moving in together. Now, I know this can and does happen in many healthy, respectful relationships but I also know this can happen in abusive, controlling relationships too and I’m starting to have my doubts way before we’re even at the relationship stage. That cannot be a good thing.