I was supposed to see Gary tonight but I asked him if he minded if we didn’t as Katie has seemed a little down and I wanted to spend some time with her. He said it was fine but I could sense he wasn’t as ok with it as he was making out. In the evening, he went to the pub but barely spoke to me then once he was home he sent me this:
“Today has made me think: I want to spend most of my free time with you, go to bed with you, wake up with you, but that’s just selfish of me. Not only have you got your work to do, which you more often than not prefer to do in the evenings, you have your kids…Katie has obviously needed you & I’ve taken up too much of your time. I’m sorry & I hope she is feeling a little better for today. I would so love to get to know Katie far better & maybe even become like a Dad to her, but that will take time. I might not be getting my point across very well, so I apologise, but I love you & want things to work out, so know I will have to sacrifice my own wishes, wants & plans to ensure that everyone is happy.”
What he said is lovely and maybe I’m being too doubting and negative but I can’t help feeling an undercurrent of something else because his tone of voice when we spoke earlier wasn’t the happiest and he barely spoke to me when we texted earlier, and I just can’t help sensing some insecurity on his part, because I chose my child over him.