Fizzling Out?

I haven’t seen Gary all week which is unusual for us. We were going to see each other on Monday but he didn’t get home from work until 7pm and was too tired. On Tuesday we were supposed to see each other but I texted him to say I had period pain and might have to take a raincheck. He replied, “Let’s change it to will take a raincheck in case it doesn’t get better.” I felt that he jumped at the chance to change it but he said it’s because he likes to know what’s going on and not wait to find out later. He went to the pub instead. On Wednesday it was arranged again, I showered, did my hair and waited for him to ring. He rang at 8.30pm to tell me not to rush, that he’d only just finished work and it would take him at least an hour to get ready. I asked if he still wanted to come over, again he didn’t. Last night we spoke on the phone, I said I didn’t want to go out but that he could come around here, he said he was really tired. I asked again if he wanted to give it a miss. He said yes. Again. But then he followed it up by saying he would be working this morning and free in the afternoon. He asked what my plans were and if Annie was seeing Tom today. I said I wasn’t sure. I’d actually had a half plan to do something with the kids today and had already told Tom he wouldn’t be able to see Annie today but when Gary suggested going out for lunch, I decided to change my plan, get Tom to have Annie for a few hours in the afternoon and spend some quality time with Gary. I texted him this morning, said I’d be free from 1pm and he replied saying he would be ‘free’ but would be spending the time doing housework but that I could come round and chat to him as he did it. 

I couldn’t believe it. I texted him back to say I would not be coming round to watch him do housework, that I’d changed my plans so we could go to lunch and that I was really pissed off. As usual, it turned into an argument. I was also pissed off that only last week he’d admitted he was coming round to see me later and later because he didn’t want to turn up and watch me still doing housework but he was expecting me to do exactly that with him. 

During our argument, he said he didn’t want to come round here anymore and said that we’d only be able to see each other at weekends. What’s the point? He has his children every other weekend so it would only be two nights a month we’d actually have together to have quality time and the other two nights we’d be just sat there watching crap DVDs with his children. His kids don’t go up to bed until 12am so we’d literally get no quality time together other than the two nights a month. It really doesn’t seem worth it, especially when I add in how little we actually have in common other than chemistry. However, for some reason, I found myself crying while talking to him at the thought of only seeing him once a week or maybe only once a fortnight. It bothers me so much more than I thought it would.

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