I emailed a couple of counsellors today to talk about all the crap with Dad and Gary but I also need to discuss some really crappy feelings that are coming up around Millie too. So much of my anger is about how many more opportunities she’s had in life compared to the rest of us. She looks down her nose at everyone and treats people like they’re beneath her. Recently she decided to home educate her two daughters which her husband told me was only because I home educate Annie. Mille came around last weekend, when Dad was here, talking about home education and how she’s already taken them to some home-ed stuff when she suddenly realised that what she’d said was a fucking lie because it was actually me that had taken her children! She has such an air of superiority about her and it annoys the fuck out of me. The anger around her and my Dad is taking over my life at the moment and I need to deal with it.
I then texted Gary, explained all of this to him and asked him if he would bear with me while I sort myself out. I know that things with Gary could be a million times better but right now, I have to just concentrate on sorting out the feelings I have about the other two and get the stressful house-hunting/move out of the way and then I’ll deal with what’s left at the end of it.