When I was a teenager, our family was friends with a couple who had no children. I thought about their situation today and wondered when they came to terms with and accepted the fact that children weren’t a part of their life plan. I wondered, also, if they ever did come to terms with it or if they always hoped for a miracle. Surely once they got to 50+ they must have accepted it was never to be even if their hearts still longed for it? They had each other, maybe that love was enough for them? And so, maybe I too need to come to terms with and accept that in this life, love isn’t meant for me. Not the love I desire. I’ve had degrees of love with Danny, Greg, Tom, Phil and Gary and maybe I need to accept that I’ve had my fair share and it’s time to focus on my children that I’ve been blessed with and the love they bring to my life and stop hankering after a love that’s never going to happen simply because it’s not a part of my destiny.
I can see how lucky I’ve been to have had the experiences I have with men and while it’s not the one big love I always dreamed about, maybe it’s time to let that fantasy go and just live my life as it is. With my children that need me so very much still, in many ways, and with myself doing what I enjoy. Maybe that love is enough.