Little Change

I’m struggling a little to adjust to our new home. I had illusions that moving house would solve everything but the reality is that I feel isolated and lonely. I don’t know anyone, I don’t know the area and I feel unable to relax in the house. It’s early days and all that has the potential to change, at least I hope so, but so far, not so good. I love the house but it didn’t fend off the loneliness – it made it worse.

Before, it was a case of ‘better the devil you know’Tom was around the corner, Gary was just up the road (even though I didn’t want him in my life it was good to know he was still there), my neighbour was always around and it all felt familiar and comfortable. Right now, it all feels weird and I feel out of sorts here. It could change, I hope it does, in fact, I’m sure it will but currently, all I have is the neighbour nobody wants – Steve. A different neighbour came over the day I moved in and warned me about Steve. He told me to stay away as he’s so awful. He described him as narcissistic, racist, sexist, homophobic and more and unfortunately, he was right. Steve is a pain; he loves the sound of his own voice, bullshits like there’s no tomorrow and has an ego the size of the house. I’m constantly hoping he doesn’t appear every time I open my front door. Yesterday he knocked on the door to ask if I wanted my bin taking out and then he spent a whole hour talking about himself and how great he is! I’ve gone from one narcissistic prick to another but this is even worse, in some ways, as he’s right there next to me the entire time and I don’t feel as though I can leave the house without him coming out to regale me some more about how great he is. Why can I never get away from narcissists?

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