I decided to give the dating game another go. I thought that it was all well and good talking to a counsellor and going over everything, trying to work stuff out but none of it was much use if I wasn’t putting everything into practice.
I went on a date with a man called Mark today. I’ve been consciously looking out for any red flags and he’d already said a couple of things that had made me give him 1.5 so it was borderline whether we would meet or not. To be honest, I felt like I should give him a chance face to face rather than judging solely on text message communication as it can be so misconstrued. We met and went for a drink in a pub. Despite it being 11am, Mark ordered half a Guinness, I wasn’t impressed at all. Since dating Tom and Gary who were both alcoholics, I’m now really put off by men that drink. I don’t expect someone to be teetotal but 11am seemed too early and it set alarm bells ringing, rightly or wrongly.
We sat and chatted for an hour, I had to tell him I was okay with him swearing when he apologised for almost saying fuck. This tells me that at that point he wasn’t being completely himself and I’m a great believer in being yourself more on a first date than at any other time. What’s the point in starting out with a fabrication? After that, things did get better. He visibly relaxed and became much more animated in his conversation. We decided to go for a walk around the pond but ended up walking for miles. We spent the entire time laughing and joking and it was really good fun. He pushed me a few times to help me avoid puddles which I thought was, not only weird but a little brutish and then he told me he hadn’t had sex in five years since he split with his wife as he can’t have sex unless there’s some emotion there, partly because he wouldn’t like the way a woman would feel. He then told me he could have sex with me as he could feel something with me. I didn’t like that he’d already decided that he could with me. I mean, it’s fine to feel it, but he didn’t have to tell me. We’d only known each other a couple of hours at that point.
After our walk, I should have gone home but we were getting on so well that we decided to grab some lunch instead. We went into another pub and ordered a roast each. He also ordered another pint of Guinness. However, the meal was lovely and we laughed and joked throughout. I met his 42 year old nephew as he came in the same pub for his lunch. His nephew told us he could hear Mark laughing right from the other end of the bar ~ he does have a very loud laugh and it’s a bit attention-grabbing. I’ve seen many men like that before in pubs and eventually, they want to be in the limelight all the time. They’re the one in the middle of the crowd lapping up all the attention.
After lunch, we decided on another quick walk around the pond where he held my hand the whole time which was odd considering how long we’d known each other and then he walked me back to my car. For such a loud, confident man he started to look very nervous and unsure. I’d already made it clear to him that I don’t kiss on first dates, other than on the cheek, and I could see he didn’t know what to do so I thanked him for a lovely afternoon, kissed him on the cheek and got in my car. As I passed him walking to his, he indicated for me to wind down the window. He walked over, put his head right through the window, opened his mouth and tried to kiss me. Totally disrespecting all my boundaries already. It was disgusting. My lips and all around my mouth was wet with his slobber and I couldn’t wait to drive away so I could wipe my mouth.
He texted me once he got home asking if he could see me again, telling me I was amazing, that he hadn’t laughed so much in a long time, that I was gorgeous. (Yawn! I wish men would say something else.) I said I would meet him again and we arranged it for Wednesday evening.
I’m pretty certain there won’t be any romantic feelings with Mark but I do know that we had a lot of fun, laughed more than I have in ages and I could totally be myself with him so it’s probably worth meeting up again and seeing how it goes.