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A Very Posh Dinner Party

When we first looked around the house we now live in, we were only able to do so as the tenant at the time, Drew, let us in a month before anyone was supposed to look around. It secured us the place and then when he left us some furniture that he no longer had … More

Old Patterns

 Seeing Harry tonight, all of my worries from yesterday just disappeared and I realised that my old patterns are returning. I felt rejected by Harry after the weekend when we had sex, he didn’t text anywhere near as much as usual and I thought he’d lost interest and so I instantly started finding fault in … More

A Lazy Man?

I think I’ve come across the first thing to bother me about Harry. I’m not expecting a perfect man who has no faults or flaws but what I’ve noticed is potentially a deal-breaker for me. I think he’s lazy and I don’t really like laziness in a person. I can be lazy at times but … More

Disturbed

Harry invited me to his house to watch a film for our fourth date. I agreed even though it would mean sitting in what I’m calling the shrine all evening but when I arrived, he said, “Shall we go straight up?” “Up? I thought we were watching a film?” I replied. Harry said, “Yes, don’t worry, … More

The Future’s Bright

Last night I laid in bed and was a bit worried about not having the instant magnetic attraction to Harry that I had with Gary and Tom but I know that attraction was never based on a healthy attraction, always just unhealed trauma from my childhood. What I have with Harry so far is gentler and … More

A Very Lovely Third Date

I woke with terrible anxiety this morning and totally panicky about having a third date with Harry. I was worried sick about how this is going to affect the kids with me going out on dates more regularly but also about if he’ll still like me the more he gets to know me. It took … More

An Afternoon of Surprises

Harry came to my house to pick me up for our second date. I opened the door and was greeted with the sight of him in very dated, baggy jeans circa 2003, a purple and black nylon top, a baseball cap that he had on the wrong way around and shades. Not sunglasses but shades. … More

A Date & A Kiss

I went on a date with the only man left on the dating site that I was prepared to continue talking to. Harry is forty-nine and a widower with six children, although four of them are adults and have left home. Within a few messages I was starting to see a big difference in him compared to … More

It’s Got To Be Perfect

I was supposed to go on a second date with Mark tonight but I decided against it. Endless talk of wanting to fuck me turned me right off him. I want so much more than a man that can only think as far as his sexual needs and if that’s the only hand he can … More

What Not To Do

Mark has done exactly what I hoped he wouldn’t do and has started talking about sex and how he can’t wait to fuck me, asking if that could happen by date 5, asking if I like foreplay, talking about oral sex. It’s the most off-putting and offensive thing. You do not meet someone one day, … More

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