I’m starting to have alarm bells over Gary and while I know that my thinking can be, and often is, … More
Tag: control
Love Never Forgets
I laid in bed this morning reading and thinking and I realised that I need to keep a notebook just … More
A Return of the Old Feelings
I was unable to sleep last night. It took me ages to drop off and then I woke constantly throughout … More
Learning To Embrace The Wild
A series of thoughts throughout the morning led me on a trail of self-discovery that I needed to go on … More
Free Fall
I had an interesting conversation with Tom today. I told him how I felt yesterday in TGIs, how sad it … More
Drained
I feel drained. Not because of Christmas or all the work that goes with it but because of Tom. The … More
A Slow Death
I wish Tom would take the knife that he’s been twisting, year after year after year, and just plunge it … More
Truth
I often notice how events in my life tie in together, even though they may appear to be very different … More
Intuition
Two days ago I had an overwhelming urge to speak to Craig again. We haven’t spoken properly since November other … More
Suffocated
I’ve just got back from twenty-four hours at Phil’s and it’s become clear to me that the lack of physical … More
Worming
Tom has been being really helpful lately and I can’t help thinking that it’s because he’s trying to worm his … More
Truth Built On Lies
Tom sent me another email today. . .“I have wondered how I would feel when you finally start to see … More
Powerless Once More
Tomorrow, Annie goes away for seven days with Tom. It will be the first time she’s been away from me … More
In My Head
It was my nephew’s 18th birthday today. He just wanted close family to join him for a meal so we … More
Eat, Eat, Eat
For the second time, I am reading Eat Pray Love. The first time I read the book it touched me. … More
Weak
I took the kids to a theme park today. Tom joined us. I didn’t want him to and the older … More
Confusion
Tom and I have been thinking about trying to make another go of it but I don’t think it will … More
Weight of The World
When I left Tom I had no choice but to apply for financial assistance in the form of some benefits. … More
This is Life
While carrying Annie’s toys up the stairs today, I tripped. I managed to regain my balance and then I tripped … More
Lost
It’s dark, raining, windy and gloomy. The weather is matching my current mood perfectly. I drove to the beach today, … More
In Despair
Annie went to Tom’s for a few hours today. When I picked her up and asked if she’d had a … More
A Fucked Up Christmas
It was our first Christmas in our new home yesterday. Tom came to stay on Christmas Eve to spend Christmas … More
Real Life Returns
Tom told me that he’s thinking of killing himself and has even worked out how he’ll do it. He says he’s … More
Powerless
I don’t miss him. I had a blip. Today he came over, he ate lunch in my house, he sat … More
When?
When will it come back? That elusive part of the self that goes missing when you go through really tough … More
Worst Mum
Tom made dinner for everyone tonight which would be great if only he hadn’t cooked something that only he liked. … More
Food Issues
We went out for lunch today with the kids. If ever we go out, we almost always go to the … More
A Life of Stress
I have so much going on in my head at the moment, my stress levels are unbelievably high, I never … More
Controlled
Despite what the counsellor said about me being negative, I’m starting to have doubts. I think she was wrong. Maybe … More
Silenced
Alice had a few friends over to sleep tonight for her birthday. The girls’ bedroom isn’t big enough to sleep … More
Joker
My Dad came over today. We were in the kitchen talking and joking around which involved some swearing and a … More
Rollercoaster Ride
Just as I was starting to really believe things were changing, I’m now starting to worry that things with Tom … More
Driving in My Car
Tom told me today that he doesn’t want me driving on the motorways anymore with Annie. He said that my … More
