Escapism

Last night I had a dream that woke me up like no dream has in a long time. It made … More

The First No

Gary came around tonight and we got in straight in bed to watch a DVD. We hadn’t been watching for … More

Reverting Back To Type

Last night, Gary sent me a message asking if I’d missed him as we haven’t seen each other since Sunday. … More

Filling A Void

I’ve just had a moment of clarity . . .  I don’t wholesomely love Gary. There is chemistry between us, … More

That Old Devil Called Love

Tom went home to see his family on Boxing Day and came back tonight. He wanted to see Annie but … More

The Resting Period

I had an epiphany today. It was helped by having a conversation with my friend, Ruth.  We spoke of the … More

Missing Him?

I kind of miss Phil today, really miss him. It’s odd and I’m not sure why I feel this way. … More

Me Me Me

I’ve just had a conversation with Karen which was all about a challenging situation she’s going through at the moment. … More

Permission to Grieve

Sunday 7th September 2003 at 7pm is one of those dates and times that is etched in my mind and … More

On Yer Bike

Yet again, for probably the fourth time this year, I’ve decided to join a dating site. I don’t know if … More

Friends Like These

Sometimes something sneaks up on me and takes me completely by surprise. Something that I think I’ve dealt with and … More

I’m Ready

Since the four year anniversary of leaving Tom two days ago, I’ve really felt as though a line has been … More

The Gift I Gave

This time four years ago today, I was lying on a mattress on the floor of my new house for … More

Passions & Dreams

I started reading a book that includes an online workbook to help find your passion and dreams to aid you … More

TimeLine

I asked myself a question today which ended up being very thought-provoking. ‘How much of my past have I allowed … More

Magical Inspiration

Katie has been mad about the Harry Potter films for ages so today I booked to take her, Alice and … More

Understanding

After putting off seeing Mum and being two weeks late for Mother’s Day, I finally went round there today. I … More

Letting Go Again

Alice asked to talk with me today. She mentioned how hard it is seeing her boyfriend Jack as they don’t … More

Bittersweet

My Dad rang this morning, he said he wanted to see how I was as I’d been on his mind … More

The End Of The World

Last night I dreamt . . . I am stood alone, but aware of people somewhere around me, in the … More

The Day I Acted On My Intuition

After dropping the kids to school this morning, I suddenly got the strongest intuitive sense that I needed to have … More

Unconventional

I went into Karen’s this morning for a quick catch up. It was our normal chatting about nothing in particular … More

Bruised

I haven’t had any contact with Phil for about a month now and I’ve barely thought about him in that … More

Learning To Say No

We went to Millie’s today, she’d invited us over to take Jasper so their new puppy, Rex could learn to … More

Acknowledging & Letting Go

When Tom came over to see the kids tonight we got talking, just the two of us. We were talking … More

A Harsh Reminder

This afternoon I received some very sad news. My uncle Kevin died today, he was 67 years old. It’s heartbreaking … More

Letting In

It turns out that letting go, when you make up your mind to do it and then just get on … More

The Trouble With Letting Go

I’m having a big lesson in letting go today. For the last three years I have held on to bags … More

A Reminder

I’ve spent the last couple of days ill with a bad cold. I got virtually no sleep on Friday night … More

The Other Half

Yesterday continued to be a complete washout. After writing, I fell asleep for an hour then went off to get … More

Compulsive Intuition

Over the last few weeks, something has been building that feels so right. It feels exciting. When I left Tom, … More

Singledom

My friend, Alex and I often have lengthy conversations about life, love, kids, everything. She has become a great sounding … More

1000 Days

It’s 1000 days since I left Tom. I no longer have anger or resentment towards him and on the whole … More

I Will Survive

I went to a nightclub with my friends, Sandy, Karen and Daisy tonight, it was one of the worst nights … More

The Day I Realised My Vocation

I recently read The Five Love Languages, within three chapters I finally understood my relationship history, what made some relationships … More

His Kind of Love

I took a moment today to completely focus on Phil’s many positive attributes with no thoughts of the things that … More

Intuition

Two days ago I had an overwhelming urge to speak to Craig again. We haven’t spoken properly since November other … More

Worming

Tom has been being really helpful lately and I can’t help thinking that it’s because he’s trying to worm his … More

Emotional Crutch

Phil and I went out for dinner last night and then back to his for some drinks. I stayed over, … More

Truth Built On Lies

Tom sent me another email today. . .“I have wondered how I would feel when you finally start to see … More

He Knows

The last three days have been horrible. I told Tom about Phil, he had to know sooner or later. I … More

Higher Self

I woke this morning feeling pretty awful, not ill or tired, just a profound need to be alone and retreat … More

Falling In Love

I don’t want a relationship. I’ve only been single for 19 months. Since I was 14 I’ve only been single … More

Instinctively Confused

I just knew today was going to be a testing day. I slept really badly, a combination of my back … More

Union

I met up with Phil last night, totally spontaneously. I was at home and child free. It was 10pm, I … More

The Truth Will Set You Free

I’ve told Phil about Tom. I’ve just spent the entire morning getting it all out an email so he knows … More

Lessons In Love

I knew the next lesson wouldn’t take long to come my way. I feel like I’m on an accelerated path … More

Phil

Yesterday, my friend, Karen posted a status on her Facebook wall about her new haircut. I left a funny comment … More

There Once Was An Ugly Duckling

While talking to my Mum on the phone this morning she said she’d realised something in the early hours of … More

What Love Isn’t

I replied to an email from my friend, Rachel today about her abusive ex and the new man in her … More

The Right Decision

Tom was rude to me again today. I thought I’d be kind and see if he wanted to pick Annie … More

End of An Era

It’s New Year’s Eve. Tom was supposed to be staying here the night, to see the New Year in with … More

A Christmas Gift

What better day than Christmas day to have a massive realisation that you really feel deep within, one that resonates … More

Russian Dolls

At my counselling session today Sam gave me a set of Russian Dolls and asked me to take them home … More

Needy

At my counselling session today I told Sam that I think I’m too needy. Sam asked me to tell her … More

Before The Internet

At my counselling session today we discussed something that’s become a bit of a problem recently – my obsessive use … More

Deluge

For far too long I’ve felt like just giving in; surrendering to my pain and allowing myself to drop deeper into … More

Rock Bottom

What do you do and where do you go when you just about reach rock bottom? It’s been creeping up … More

Struggling

I’m really struggling at the moment. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m a single parent or if there’s … More

Disaster

Having spent the last two days thinking that Tom and I could possibly make another go of things, although thankfully … More

Men

Such a lot has happened over the last couple of days. Tom was distraught about the rabbits dying and admitted … More

Numb

Two or three nights ago, I had a dream of a man being electrocuted in the bath. The thing that … More

Eat, Eat, Eat

For the second time, I am reading Eat Pray Love. The first time I read the book it touched me. … More

Love

Eleven months have passed since I moved into this house and away from Tom, I don’t even want to think … More

No Regrets

I woke this morning after a terrible night’s sleep, the wine had given me the most horrendous heartburn so I’d … More

Moving On

Five months have passed since I last saw Craig. The last time we met up, we almost had sex but … More

Attachments

It’s so strange how things creep up and take me by surprise when I least expect them. Annie is staying … More

Weight of The World

When I left Tom I had no choice but to apply for financial assistance in the form of some benefits. … More

Letter To James

A few weeks ago when I was right in the midst of terror and crisis, I got back in touch … More

This is Life

While carrying Annie’s toys up the stairs today, I tripped. I managed to regain my balance and then I tripped … More

Almost

I met up with Craig for lunch again today except lunch was at my house and there was no food … More

The Simple Things

The simple things bring me the greatest pleasures these days. Waking to snow, donning our warmest clothes; hats, scarves, wellies … More

Happy

I went to see my sister, Millie, today. She took a few pictures of me and some of Annie.  When … More

Desired

Craig and I met up again for lunch. This time though, instead of it being two people just chatting, there … More

Sexual Being

Craig’s refusal to just jump into bed with me knocked me last night but I’m glad he did. It made … More

Let’s Talk About Sex

I’ve broached the subject of sex with Craig. Taking those photographs a few days ago really got me thinking. I’ve … More

Naked Truth

Meeting Craig has been so good for me. We talk all the time and I really feel that for the … More

First Date

I went on a date with Craig today, the first date I’ve been on since leaving Tom and my first … More

Dating

I joined a dating site last week. I know it’s been less than three months since Tom and I split up … More

Two Months On

It’s been two months since we left our old life and moved into our new home. It was absolutely the … More

The Children Suffer Too

For the last year of living with Tom, Katie would come home from school, go straight to her bedroom and … More

A Safe Place

Most probably it’s the two glasses of wine I’ve had, combined with our new kitten moving in but tonight I … More

Scared

It’s quite a journey that I went on to realise how scared I am. It started by looking at some self-portraits … More

Learning To Walk Again

I built a bookcase today. I was tempted to ring him, ask him to do it and then I thought, … More

Choices

He came over today, as usual. At lunchtime, he asked if I had ham and chips. He said maybe he’d … More

Confidence

I received an email in response to one I’d sent to a client who’s going to be a volunteer for a … More

Powerless

I don’t miss him. I had a blip. Today he came over, he ate lunch in my house, he sat … More

Exposed

It’s been twenty-five days since I left him and tried to get on with my life, clawing my way back … More

Happy Housewarming

I had five of my friends come over tonight to celebrate my new beginning with me. It’s the first time … More

When?

When will it come back? That elusive part of the self that goes missing when you go through really tough … More

Cruel Love

Silence’s alarm clock woke me constantly throughout the night to remind me of the past. The past that, just yesterday, … More

The Bittersweet Taste of Goodbye

I’m lying on the floor of an unfamiliar bedroom in a strange house. Despite the absence of the discarded plastic … More

The Key

I have signed the contract and picked up the keys to a new house, a house that just me and … More

An End In Sight

In six days, I get the keys to my new house. I wish I could say I’m excited but I … More

Heartbroken

In fifteen days I will leave this house and my life with Tom forever. The kids and I are going … More

Expecting Life

I feel as though I am pregnant with a new life that’s growing from within. It kicks and shifts constantly … More

The Slow Process of Leaving

I’m feeling shit today, I think telling the kids has made it all the more real. It seems to be … More

New Home

I am looking at a house this week that may be ideal for us, I have a few reservations about … More

In Denial

Tom seems to be in complete denial that our relationship is coming to an end which doesn’t make a great … More